Will He or Won’t He Continued…

The little voice in my head just wouldn’t shut up. “Will he mention me? Will he share that he appreciates me? Will he thank me, his stepmom, for being there for him? If not, then everyone will be wondering who is the woman next to his dad.”  “Oh! Is that the stepmom? He must not care for her, since he didn’t even mention her.” I was so afraid that I would be sitting there looking like a fool, while he thanked his mom and dad sitting right next to me. What was wrong with me? Why did it matter so much? Why couldn’t I shut up that insecure inner voice?

I didn’t know, but I just couldn’t shut off that inside voice. It kept on and on. I tried to tell myself that it just didn’t matter, that I knew he loved me even if he chose to not share that with everyone. Who was I kidding? I simply wasn’t that evolved- I cared and I couldn’t convince myself otherwise. I knew that if Aiden didn’t talk about me, I was going to have to have some serious, therapeutic talks with my friends.

Finally, Aiden stood up and made his way to the podium. He was going to do it! He was going to talk! I held my breath, still fearful I would be left out. He thanked his dad first, saying beautiful things about how he wanted to be a man like him, and how he was always there for him; he thanked his mom, and said how she always did things for him, and then he thanked me. His stepmom. My fears were unfounded. He did mention me. Unfortunately, I was so nervous, I hardly remember his words. But, I do remember him saying I was always there for him, giving him advice and help through the years. I breathed a sigh of relief, and then I cried. He talked about his stepdad last. He was poised and confident, and, he even got a laugh. It was at his stepdad’s expense, but he didn’t seem to mind. Remember? He was more evolved than me. It was a wonderful evening.

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